One Desire...

blessings from technology

capturing the breaking & healing hearts during missions.
when I look at those photos and videos, I can’t help but smile and find peace within.

i miss missions. and i just realized how much i will miss being there this summer. i pray for victories. for radical loving. !!!. use them Lord!! bless the teams Abba Father!

with everything

my heart, it cries, “be glorified!” be lifted high above all names

-what does it mean to give my all. with everything? i want to be there.-

Passion

i pray to You Lord. I pray that my passion would be You. not the kids, not the needy, not the family. not the friends. i want to stay desperate—in need of You, all the days of my life. i’m losing it to the busyness of life, to people. i want my passion to be rooted in You. in You. let it emanate. let it be overwhelming. let it be You.

dear pride

you little jaaaaaaahhhhssssik.
you is the worst.

Father, rid me of my pride. ridridrid.

VIPs

Visually Impaired People.

This job is an incredible blessing. they are amazing. i have never worked with VI kids before. the other day, i told one kid that i’d help him learn how to use the chopsticks. i forgot about it, but he didn’t. the next day, right as he got into the car, he pulled out two pencils and asked, “so remember how you said you’ll help me learn how to use the chopsticks?” I was kind of already 정신없어 because there was school traffic and i was worried about driving to the center, but i couldn’t say no. i tried my best to describe it and moved around his fingers…

he learned it in less than 5 minutes. amazing.

then i sat in a martial arts class and saw a total different side of them kids. shouting, “HIYAH!!!!!!” punching the instructors, going all out shamelessly. one girl was too cool for school and loitered in the back, but i persuaded her to practice with the friends. i let her use me as her punching bag. it was mad painful but so worth it. her right arm is so much stronger than the left. we must work on that left arm.

i have a feeling there will be so many rewarding experiences this next year with them. Abba Father, thank you Lord! You know my heart so well. 

plank out of your own eye esther

i can rant on and on about my discouragement and frustration about loved ones falling and running towards the world again…when clearly the world hurt them…disappointed them…abandoned them.

but. what about you esther? how have you’ve been doing? having been busy is not an excuse and needing sleep is the worst. Jesus did warn us…the flesh is weak but the Spirit is willing! carry your cross. die to the flesh. walk in His Spirit.

small goal

i have a goal.

i want to see this three year old sacrifice her queen-sized bed and share the love with others. 

아이고.

thoughts

korean culture—i love it and i don’t.
we have manners and we don’t. 
we don’t have manners when we let greed and selfishness consume us.
and this mostly happens within the family (or within really close relationships).

—if i say that i can’t help them at the moment or fly across the states to help babysit kids…i’m selfish and don’t care about the family. i know i’m at fault too when i say no (because i’d rather not drop all the work and sacrifice my time, which shows that i don’t want to die to myself), but then i realize that they think i am free of work or responsibility. no comprende. 조금 frustrating. 답답. i love them. i’d serve them. but it’s not a life-threatening emergency right? they can do some sacrifice as well and not use others…maybe i’m wrong. Lord, you are sovereign and maybe i am walking by sight…—

we don’t need money. why can’t we see that? because i haven’t experienced what real poverty is like? no. but i’ve experience what a broken family is like. i’ve seen damage done because work>family, money>family, 자존심/pride>family. how do i let them know this…하나님…!

Lord, teach me to love AND serve unconditionally.